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If you are not familiar with the Levels of Mind we suggest you visit the instructions page for your first time.
As I listened to David’s discourse on what was happening I could see a parallel between my wife and some of the things he was talking about, dealing with opening up and then closing up again. I could also see the expectation and disappointment side of things from us both and how this makes everything more real and opens up the blame game.
The thing I was originally looking at when I started looking at this presentation was irritation associated with taking care of my wife while she is sick. Not being appreciated for my efforts and instead things being made harder because she didn’t want to do the things needed to get better. I have a mixture of fear for her as well as for myself. Her because she isn’t getting better and me because I can imagine years more of things continuing as they are now which also induces shame for worrying about that part of the equation.
I am finding giving over control a hard thing to do and telling the difference between the good Samaritan ego and the voice of the Holy Spirit is nearly impossible. I bring up feelings and offer them up to Christ but don’t know how that is going since the same feelings seem to come up on a number of different circumstances and I am not sure of the specific beliefs behind them. When I think I have found a belief or experience associated with a belief I offer this to Christ as well but don’t know how this is going either.
Another thought brought up here may sound a little funny but it is that when you give what you have from the world you are giving nothing/illusion, when you give what you have from God you are giving in truth (love, peace, happiness, innocence). This doesn’t mean giving material/worldly things isn’t important in the aspect of we are in the world and unless we want our bodies to die we have to do worldly things. It’s being able to distinguish the right voice to listen to in deciding the doing.